6 Ways to Cope With an Unplanned Pregnancy.

I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant, I had just gotten married and was adjusting to life with my husband in a new state. I was so scared and did not feel ready to be a mom. I always knew I wanted to be a mom someday, but I had plans! I wanted to wait at least 5 more years, finish college, become a designer, do mission work, etc.. God had other plans. I struggled throughout my pregnancy and could not find any biblical resources on this topic. Here's what I wished I knew:

1. Fight for joy. There are going to be days when joy doesn't come easily. Pregnancy can be hard, it's uncomfortable, unglamorous, and a lot of times gross. If you have other children it can be overwhelming. I think especially when you have not made the choice to be pregnant every little inconvenience and pain that it brings is a reminder that this is not what you chose or wanted. Dwelling on "what your life could have been", or "how easy it would have been" or "I could have accomplished _____" is not helpful. Know that God has a greater plan and find encouragement that HE chose this for you and his plans are greater than yours. Just the practical act of choosing to think on the positive things about having a baby will do so much for you. "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." - James 1:2-4 2. Don't feel guilty if you're not excited. It's ok to not feel excited about an unexpected pregnancy. Find your joy in Christ and not your circumstances. It can be tempting to feel like you HAVE to enjoy this experience because there are women that never get the chance to. That can create a lot of guilt for when you aren't feeling excited for your pregnancy. God has unique trials for each of us and gives us unique grace for our circumstances. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. - Isaiah 55:8-9 3. Be honest with people in your life. Find a close group of Christian women that you can trust. Be open and honest with them about how you are feeling and what you are going through. It's good to have input and encouragement from the outside. It is such an emotional experience you can not isolate yourself in this season. 4. Take it one day at a time. An unexpected pregnancy is a lot to take in. Don't feel like you need to absorb the weight of this change right away. Luckily 9 months is a long time to adjust and grow and plan. And babies come out babies. (Imagine that!) You're not handed a toddler, or a rebellious teenager and expected to deal with them. You have time to grow with your child. You don't need to have it all together. There is grace for every season and situation! "The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." - Lamentations 3:22-23 5. Your life is not over. We live in a culture that views motherhood as your last priority. Children are not as important as your education, career, traveling, partying, going to bars, having money, or doing whatever the hell you want. Scripture tells us that children are a blessing! And guess what? They are actually pretty fun! Being a mom is an amazing job and becoming one does not change your identity. Your identity does not become "mother," your identity is found in Christ. And having children and being a mother glorifies God! "Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate." - Psalm 127:4-5 6. You can do this.

You are stronger than you think! There's nothing quite like having a baby that pushes you to grow. Nothing can prepare you for the moment you meet your baby for the first time. It doesn't matter how hard your pregnancy was, how much you need to sacrifice to make this work, or how difficult your labor is. The moment you hold your baby it will all make sense. It will all be worth it. All of the things you thought you would rather do with your life besides become a mother will seem so silly. God really does know what He's doing and He wants what's best for you.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11

Despite struggling throughout my pregnancy, I am so glad that I got pregnant with Parker when I did. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me! I absolutely love being a mom!

Also looking at cute baby pictures can help! :)

*If you are struggling with postpartum depression, talk to a healthcare provider. Depression can also occur during pregnancy and is called Antepartum Depression, if you think you are struggling, talk to your OBGYN.

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